Bride's woefully entitled brother thinks he is the exception to her "child-free" wedding: '[It's] causing divide in the family'

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9875303168
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to make an exception for my brother's son to attend my childfree wedding just because he's a rainbow baby? Hi. I (f, 33) am getting married come october to my fiance Derek. Wedding planning went okay but as soon as we started sending out invitations the problems began coming our way. Thing is Derek and I decided the wedding would be childfree, it wasn't out the blue and this possibility was there.
  • 03
    I have a 42-yrs-old brother Paul who's married but he and his wife suffered from several miscarriages and faild pregnancies during their marriage. They finally were blessed with a son that everyone calls a miracle and a rainbow baby. My nephew is 4-yrs-old and everyone salutes him and treat him as a king and also turn blind eye to any misbehaviors he has which caused him to become loud, distructive, out of control and punish-less.
  • 04
    When Paul recieved the invitation and found out out kids weren't included he and mom lost it and decided on an urgent meeting with me and Derek. Paul said "my son is an exception, right?" I said no and this rule is to be followed by everyone. He argued that I was making a mistake by excluding my nephew. He and mom went on about how he's a miracle since he's their rainbow baby/grandbaby then Paul said he had no problem with my wedding being child free but expects me to make an exception for his s
  • 05
    Derek apologized and said we won't since our friends and my inlaws had kids too but now have to leave them home and arrange for babysitters and advised him to do the same. Paul was offended and said if his son isn't invited then he won't come and gave us an ultimatum to drop out if we don't edit his invitation. That caused my family to freak out because Paul is the only and oldest sibling I have and they said his presence at the wedding is a must.
  • 06
    I had an argument with mom and dad who said the fact I'm choosing this to be my hill to die on and treating Paul and my nephew like that was appaling. They emphasized how my nephew is especial and I should be ashamed to exclude him even when the wedding is child free.
  • 07
    My parents said if Paul won't come they won't come either which devastated me a lot and caused me to break down. Derek said they were the ones being unreasoable and disrespectful of our wedding and we should wait maybe they'll come around eventually but they've doubled down. This morning my aunt and uncle dropped out as well as my other uncle last week. Paul told everyone and they're supporting him and won't come unless I make an exception for my nephew but that will upset my guests and they'll
  • 08
    My family have normalized this behavior from Paul and also his wife. Whenever I point out how unacceptable it is to expect everyone to cater to my nephew and his parents, Paul would chime in with "she's jeeeealous" because he and his wife have a kid while I can't/don't (I was married before meeting Derek and divorced my ex husband for my inability to have kids but that's another story).
  • 09
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the I might be the for refusing and causing divide in the family and probably ruining my relationship with my brother because of it.
  • 10
    chiterkins NTA - you are not the one dying on this hill. Your brother is, and he's involving the rest of the family. If your family cares more about whether a 4 year old gets to go to a wedding and/or reception (which, as the only child there, won't be any fun for him) than they do about celebrating you and your new husband, then that will make the decision about which family to spend the holidays with that much easier. You are not being malicious, you are making a decision about your guest list
  • 11
    YourMom_Infinity NTA. Tell them you'll "miss" them and enjoy your day. 5.5K ↑ Share
  • 12
    Jonny-Pasadena "Rules are for other people" people are the very best people. NTA. Sounds like His Nibs The Rainbow Baby might make himself the center of attention, or would be egged on to do so by his fan club. Congratulations on your wedding! ↑ Share 5.5K
  • 13
    Old Kindheartedness73 So, let me see if I got this right. Your brother has a rainbow baby that farts rainbows and glitter. Plus, his rainbow baby is so much more special that he's magical, does no wrong, listens, stays out from under foot, stays quiet, and is Mary Poppins perfect? You know what, BS. His rainbow baby is the same as my rainbow baby. A child. Children do not always have to go where mom and dad goes. You're nta 1.8K Share
  • 14
    SassyLostKobold NTA. Honestly if this is how they're behaving, you don't want them at the wedding, they'd just ruin the whole event. It'll probably be a lot more peaceful if they don't show up. ↑ Share 1K
  • 15
    SideMuff ΝΤΑ Who cares if their child is a "miracle" or not. It isn't the kids wedding. It's yours. I don't feel like a four year old needs to be at a wedding anyways. Tell them they don't need to make ultimatums, because you are uninviting them. You don't need manipulators like that at your wedding. 890 ↑ Share
  • 16
    niveusss As someone who is going through insanely similar experience with my fiancé's brother, I know the feeling. Stick to your guns. It's your day. If they want to avoid it, that is their choice. It . I know. I hope your day goes well (we expect my bil to still show up with his kid), and that at the end of it all, you and your fiancé start a fantastic life each other :D ↑ Share 604 ...

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article